Feb. 14, 2017 "On the same page, romantically speaking": Today I found this article by Mark Medley in the Globe and Mail:
While no such data exists, the question “What’s your favourite book?” is probably asked during, oh, three-quarters of first dates. The same isn’t true when it comes to peoples’ least-favourite reads.
Is it possible to love someone if you hate their taste in books?
Can a relationship survive if its partners are not, quite literally, on the same page?
For Valentine’s Day, Books Editor Mark Medley surveyed a number of authors on whether there’s such a thing as a “deal-breaker” book – a novel that would test even the most storybook of romances, for instance, or a biography that, if spotted on a new lover’s bedside table, would end the relationship on the spot.
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We all said Atlas Shrugged, right, guys? I mean, of all the books that could dump cold water on sparking romantic interest, it seems the most (wouldn’t Rand approve) efficient.
Not only does it say ‘This might be the only book I’ve ever read and maybe I didn’t even finish it, I mean, it’s pretty long,’ but it also implies a fondness for Rand’s grotesque philosophical celebration of selfishness: Objectivism. Nothing more arousing than knowing your potential partner believes in getting his [or hers] and letting everyone else worry about themselves.
Grace O’Connell’s new novel, Be Ready for the Lightning, will be published in June.
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The Art of the Deal, by Donald J. Trump and Tony Schwartz. Does this choice really need any explanation? The chatter I’ve heard about this book makes me wonder if Donald Trump has even read it, let alone written any of it. I’d be out the door fast, unless the book was next to the fireplace, its pages available as a convenient kindling starter.
Terry Fallis’s new novel, One Brother Shy, will be published in May.
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I think a stack of James Patterson’s on the bedside table would be a deal-breaker for me. It’s not that Patterson is a bad writer of generic concepts – well, he’s that, too – it’s the industrial aspect of his output I can’t abide.
To enter a romance with someone who reads the products of a team of ghostwriters would be like making love to someone who made you Valentine’s dinner from the frozen section of Shoppers Drug Mart.
Andrew Pyper’s new novel, The Only Child, will be published in May.
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Without a doubt, On The Road. Every terrible boyfriend I had loved Jack Kerouac, so that would be a sure sign that we’re not a match!
Emily Schultz’s new novel, Men Walking on Water, will be published in March.
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In Trump We Trust by Ann Coulter. Some bedside books would give me pause – the Bible, 50 Shades of Grey – but they might at least spark an interesting conversation. Not so with Coulter. I couldn’t imagine talking [to] or getting intimate with anyone who keeps this stink bomb within reach of their pillow.
Trevor Cole’s new book, The Whisky King: The Remarkable True Story of Canada’s Most Infamous Bootlegger and the Undercover Mountie on his Trail, will be published in April.
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Just as alternative facts are anathema to journalists, so are alternative [and typically conspiracy-theory driven] theories of history to the historian. I don’t care how funny, interesting and accomplished you are – if I see a book by David Irving on your nightstand, I’m walking out the door.
Jennifer Robson’s new novel, Goodnight From London, will be published in May.
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I’m sure David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest is a very good book, judging by the seven people who have actually read it, but I will not tolerate going out with a man who owns it – and has read it. I don’t need to date someone who is measurably better than me, namely measured by 1,079 pages.
Scaachi Koul’s essay collection, One Day We’ll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter, will be published in March.
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Anything by Gary Taubes, who is the author of The Case Against Sugar and Why We Get Fat. I know damn well why we get fat, and it’s because we ordered six desserts and there were two of us, but the cake was delicious and what a way to die.
Kerry Clare’s novel, Mitzi Bytes, will be published in March.
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The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. It’s about decluttering, which might be fine if the author didn’t extend her ideas to books. Her advice is to put your entire library on the floor and throw out those that don’t ‘spark joy.’ So there goes my copy of A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara, my Neanderthal textbook and my dictionary? If I see this on your nightstand, I have a headache.
Claire Cameron’s new novel, The Last Neanderthal, will be published in April.
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The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path To Higher Creativity, by Julia Cameron. Anyone who wants to follow this book will have to take the path without me. I know artists. They are a tortured lot. And by the way, anyone who wants to go the artist’s way should just learn to paint, play an instrument or write some pages that won’t put the reader to sleep.
Antanas Sileika’s new memoir, The Barefoot Bingo Caller, will be published in May.
Comments:
Ursula Seawitch
11 days ago
I really love books. I am a member of 2 monthly book clubs and I read several other books a month as well. I really enjoy getting a book that I might not have picked for myself. It's good to read outside your comfort zone.
Nietzsche. Always a bad sign when a man is a fan of Nietzsche.
But then again, it depends why someone has those books. I find someone who reads books they believe they will disagree with, just so they can evaluate them more rationally, very attractive.
Dianetics by L Ron Hubbard
Angels - Gods Secret Agents by Billy Graham
Darwin on Trial by Phillip E Johnson
A lot of snap judgments here. One book out of dozens if not hundreds or even thousands on a person's shelves, and there's no chance of a relationship? Wow. Harsh.
Feb. 2, 2017 "Bedside reading": Today I found this article by sex therapist Dr. Teesha Morgan who reviews some books about sex and love:
As a sex therapist, many books on love, sex and relationships cross my desk. Some linger and are read multiple times, while others are read, scoffed at and then quickly tossed.
This is a list of the former: Books that either caught my eye, educated my mind, opened my networks to invaluable dialogue, or simply stimulated my curiosity.
1 The Guide to Getting It On — Sixth Edition Paul Joannides
Here’s what Oprah magazine had to say: “You’ve never read a manual as warm, friendly, liberating, thorough and potentially sex-life-changing as The Guide to Getting It On. Neither had anyone in our office, which may be why our copies keep disappearing.”
This book has been translated into more than 13 languages and has sold over 650,000 copies. It is a world class sex manual that starts from the simplistic and evolves into the, “Oh my God! I had no idea that was possible!”
2 The Five Love Languages Gary Chapman
Chapman brings his over 30 years of experience as a marriage counsellor to his theory on how individuals express and interpret love. This book helps couples learn their “love language” and then recognize how these languages affect their actions, wants and desires within their relationship.
I have used Chapman’s book to guide couples in therapy for years, as I believe he makes understanding oneself, and one’s partner, an enlightening experience.
3 Mating in Captivity Esther Perel
Throughout the ages we have aspired to increase our IQ — and recently our EI (Emotional Intelligence) — but the thought of sharpening our erotic intelligence has only recently taken ground.
Perel helps us explore this crucial third component through her theories on the pitfalls of modern intimacy within long-term relationships, and her beliefs on how we can sustain our erotic vitality within the monogamous setting.
4 The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work John Gottman
Gottman is a highly respected and influential researcher within the psychology community, and for good reason. He has analyzed and watched (through in-house cameras) so many couples interact throughout the years, that he can predict divorce — with 91 per cent accuracy — after watching and listening to a couple for only five minutes.
His book is an easy read, peppered with fascinating statistics, that is bound to offer something to every relationship. Don’t let the cover or title deter you if you haven’t taken the plunge into marital bliss, as Gottman’s seven principles will reveal must-see signs and behaviours for every relationship, regardless of its legal state.
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