Jun. 20, 2020: In Aug. 2014, I wrote this post:
counseling/ should I continue into TV production? (Part 1)
http://badcb.blogspot.com/2014/08/counseling-should-i-continue-into-tv.html
In May 2015, I wrote this post:
Sept. 29, 2015: I want people to escape reality and life for awhile by reading. I want to expand people's mind.
fit for the job/ should I continue into TV production? (Part 2)
This is from Apr. 2021:
should I continue into TV production? (Part 3)
This is from Oct. 2021:
Tracy's ideal life (as a TV writer & producer, Actor, Office Career) vs. Tracy's real life (Part 1)
This is from Nov. 2021:
Tracy's ideal life vs. Tracy's real life (Part 2)/ "Missing Out: In Praise of the Unlived Life" by Adam Phillips
Jul. 27, 2021: This is from my journal. I wrote the question on the top of the page:
"Why do you want to be a TV writer?"
Sept. 14, 2015: As a teenager, I wanted to entertain people. I want to make people laugh and be entertained by the story. I want people to be happy and enjoy what they're watching. As a teenager, loved Buffy, Angel, Dark Angel, and Alias.
Talent: As a teen and in my early 20s, I want people to read my script and say:
"She's a very creative, imaginative, good writer."
"I like and enjoy reading it. I was entertained by it."
Sept. 29, 2015: I want people to escape reality and life for awhile by reading. I want to expand people's mind.
Oct. 7, 2015: It's about the power of the written word. It's the saying: "The pen is mightier than the sword." I like to be read, to be heard. To influence people, to have an effect on people, to make an impact on people.
Oct. 8, 2015: To help and inform people.
Jun. 8, 2016: I like stories. I learn from them. I'm entertained by them.
Jun. 13, 2017 Orphan Black: I read in the Globe and Mail, that the creators of this show spent 10 years getting this show produced and on air. It ends after 5 seasons.
That is a success. Even if it lasts 1 season, it still got produced. It gets produced, it's a success.
Dec. 27, 2019: I can influence people on my blog.
Apr. 24, 2021: "If you were to die tomorrow, what would you regret?"
From 2008-2012 (22- 27 years old): I would be upset if I died and my script didn't get produced.
From 2013 on, I don't regret that this didn't get produced. I tried for 5 years of pitching to every TV production company in Canada and writing 2 blogs to attract TV producers to my script and writing.
I want to ENTERTAIN people as a TV writer.
Now I want to EDUCATE and INFORM people as a blogger.
TV production and filmmaking will be an interest.
MICE: I wrote about this acronym MICE before. The reasons why people do things:
Money
Ideology
Coercion
Ego
As a TV writer: I am doing this for mainly money and ego.
I want to get paid as a TV writer. I like to be told that I'm a good writer.
As a blogger: I am doing this for ideology.
I would like to get paid money for blogging. I like to be told that I'm a good writer.
Apr. 26, 2021: A small part of me wants to be a TV writer.
A bigger part of me wants to be a blogger.
Apr. 30, 2021 Edu- tainment: This is education and entertaining:
1. Timeless: This is like learning history.
"An unlikely trio travel through time in order to battle unknown criminals and protect history as we know it."
2. Teen sitcoms: This was on NBC in the last 1990s and early 2000s. The shows were Saved by the Bell, Hang Time, One World, and City Guys. They were aimed at teens, but there are lessons to learn from like racism, and how to deal with sexual harassment.
3. Teen dramas: The shows like Degrassi where the teens deal with also teen issues like racism, sexual harassment, peer pressure, etc.
4. PBS: There are lots of educational shows there like for kids like Arthur.
5. Talk shows: Oprah, Dr. Phil, and Tyra Banks.
6. Teen pregnancy reality shows: 16 and Pregnant, and Teen Mom. The audience of mainly teen girls will learn how hard it is to be a teen mom.
7. Dateline: To Catch a Predator: Kids and teens are learning about safety on the internet. Don't give your name, phone number, address, or what school you go to on the internet.
8. TV news magazine shows: Dateline, 20/20, W-Five.
Sept. 1, 2021: This is a June 2016 blog post:
Tracy's writing career/ Getting the right people's attention on the internet
Jul. 5, 2015 Tracy's writing career: I wrote some things down on my notebook and now am typing it up.
Apr. 25, 2015:
I know there are so many avenues for my writing.
1. TV script- This is the main goal I've been aiming for since I was 14 yrs old. At 22, in my last semester of my 2 yr college diploma in Professional Writing, I was actively pitching my script The Vertex Fighter. I pitched in from 2008-2012 to all these TV production companies in Canada. A lot of producers, writers, and script readers read it, but they reject it.
2. TV production companies- I applied to get a job there. I did 1 interview at Dynacor Media in 2008 when I finished Professional Writing. I then did apply to as many Edmonton companies as I can get to in 2012. That lasted about 2 months.
I did try to get an internship in 2003 at CBC. That was when I was 18. CBC HR said they only hire NAIT TV students for internships. There used to be A- Channel, but then they went on strike in 2004. Now I can't apply there.
I did apply at CKUA radio back in 2005. They can't pay you. I did apply to NAIT's radio program but I got rejected in Fall 2004 and Winter 2005 intake. That's alright, the radio program wasn't really for me. I didn't volunteer at CKUA because I got accepted into Professional Writing.
I did apply to be a script reader at some companies in 2012. Only John Kerr sent me some scripts for me to read.
3. Journalism- I passed my resume to the Edmonton Journal a couple of times. I emailed a couple of articles to Metro and 24. That was years ago around 2008-2009. No one ever called me back.
4. Magazines- I pitched to Merge, an Edmonton magazine. It was short-lived. It folded. I may have applied to Avenue magazine. This was in 2009.
5. Short stories and poems- I had 2 short stories "TJ's Story" and "Chase", my poem "Downtown Streets" published in the Canadian Poetry Institute. I wrote that in 2006- 2007 when I was in Professional Writing. I then sent it out and it got published 2010- 2012. (You can read it on my blog.)
6. Websites- The Golden Vanguard published my movie reviews before the website closed down. 2012. (You can read it on my blog.)
7. Publishing companies- I did apply to some or at least look them up. I thought be an editor. They were hiring sales people though. I wrote about this before on my blog.
8. Tracy's blog- this blog has been with me since 2008. It's to showcase my writing and I can be discovered. At the very least, it's an archive of my weekly emails. When I want to bring something up from 3 yrs ago, instead of typing it up again, I can go look for it on my blog.
I know when to narrow and widen my focus. The main focus was getting my script produced. Everything else was on the side.
I guess I'm typing this because today I was talking to my co-worker M who worked as a hostess today. She said about volunteering at places to gain experience. Even if a TV production company isn't hiring, they may still need someone to work for them, but can't pay them. There's also there isn't a lot of work at a company so there isn't a point of a volunteer.
Dec. 14, 2021: I have closed the door into being a TV writer and producer. I didn't exactly lock the door. I can always open this again.
Jan. 2, 2022: I'm writing this to get my anger out.
The Simpsons: This reminds me of the episode "The Last Temptation of Krust" where Krusty was going to retire from comedy.
"After a disastrous performance, Krusty changes his image and becomes an edgy stand-up."
Here is the clip:
Krusty: There are these lady comics who talk about who they slept with, what time they sit on the can- this is supposed to get you a husband?
My opinion: I'm writing this, because here is Krusty (kind of) talking about these strategies about women who wants to get married and these are bad strategies.
You can read the above "Tracy's writing career" where I tried all these good, right, and conventional strategies to get a writing career and I'm not really successful.
Delusions of grandeur: I don't have delusions of grandeur.
Actor/ model: I know it was going to be really hard to be an actor or model:
1. My looks- am I good looking enough to be one?
2. My race- I'm Asian. There is a struggle to get roles.
3. My gender- woman.
TV writer and producer: I wanted to be one because that seems easier to get as a career than an actor.
Also when I write and produce my own work, I can star in it too.
I thought if I worked really hard and pitched my script to as many TV production companies in Canada, this was going to work.
In 2008: I tried and got an interview at Dynacor Media, and didn't get hired.
Getting a job at a TV production company seems hard. It's probably easier to work at a restaurant in the day and pitch my script in the evenings and weekends. I was fine with that.
Jan. 8, 2022 Why are you angry?:
Are you angry at yourself for not being successful?
No, because I put time, effort, and money (to go to Professional Communication at MacEwan). I put time and effort in emailing my script pitch to TV production companies in Canada.
Are you angry at the industry?
No. Anyone can become a filmmaker by making videos and content and putting this on Youtube and other platforms.
Jan. 4, 2022 Is there anything you would have done differently?:
I tried to get a job at a TV production company in 2008.
I got laid off from the Soup place in 2010. I could have tried and rebooted my TV production company job search then. However, it was really hard to get a job at a restaurant, store, and call centre. If that's hard, then getting a TV production company job was going to be harder.
I could have tried and rebooted my TV production company job search in the middle of 2011. By then I was in my stable Restaurant job. I was mainly running around town attending office job interviews.
Online networking: I was emailing my script pitch to all these TV production companies in Canada.
Linked In: I went on here starting around like 2011- 2012 and made connections with TV writers and producers and filmmakers that I had pitched my script to.
I mainly said: "Hi, I pitched my script The Vertex Fighter to you in 2008-2010, and you read it." They then confirm me.
Stage 32: Today I Googled myself and I had an account on this. I forgot I did. There is only my picture and name. I haven't been there since 2013. I had 8 connections in Edmonton and I didn't meet any of them.
The crazy thing is, I was connected to Sam who is the Filmmakers Meetup organizer and Film makers Facebook group page. I didn't meet him until 2015 in the Meetup group.
I deleted the account because I don't use it.
Jan. 7, 2022 Get an agent: I tried to get an agent for a bit back in 2008. Maybe I could have tried harder to get an agent, where he or she can pitch my script and getting writing jobs for me. I was doing this already.
Crowdfunding: I researched a bit about this in Mar. 2014. Crowdfunding is hard and takes a lot of time and effort:
blog/ Veronica Mars/ crowdfunding
Go to Filmmakers Meetups: I did a little bit with Meetups back in 2013. I read someone's script and gave my feedback on this at a Screenwriters Meetup group.
In 2015, I attended the Filmmakers Meetups. They hold meetings twice a month. I usually attend them and have built friendships through them.
The Filmmakers Meetup group was started in 2010. I learned that in 2015 when they were to celebrate the 5th birthday.
Jan. 8, 2022 Move to British Columbia: I guess I could have moved there. I live on my own and probably could get a job as a production assistant. The job could be permanent at a TV production company or I could only get temp work for every film that comes by.
However, I don't want to move this far away from my family. I don't want to live alone in a big city by myself. I don't want to start over in this big of a way. This is expensive to live on my own.
I do everything on the internet: Why do I have to move?
I email my script pitch to all these TV production companies in Canada.
I emailed some places to get an agent.
I applied for jobs at TV production companies by emailing my resumes to them.
I can write my script anywhere.
What if your sister S wanted to be an actor and model? Would she have been successful?:
I don't know. She and I don't look like each other. This depends on how hard she looks for a job and the jobs out there.
What if your sister S wanted to be a TV writer and producer? Would she have been successful?:
If you read the "fit for the job/ should I continue into TV production? (Part 2)", I mentioned that she would be good at these careers. I will say she can can get accepted into a lot of college programs and graduate from them and get a career as a cop, teacher, nurse, psychologist, etc. However, she will not like the careers.
I probably wouldn't even get in or graduate from those college programs. I also wouldn't like those careers.
She is the Enneagram type 3 the Achiever. She has always be an honors student and has worked a part-time job during high school and university. She has an MBA.
NAIT: What if S gets in and graduated out of NAIT's TV program? I think she can. She gets an internship at a TV station. She tells her boss that she wants to be a TV writer and producer. She networks. She pitches her script to TV production companies in Canada. I don't know if she will get her script produced.
Vancouver Film School: She lives in the dorm, goes to school, gets a part-time job, and is able to buy groceries and does laundry.
She graduates and gets an internship. She networks. She tells all the TV production workers she wants to be a TV writer and producer.
She gets hired as a production assistant permanently at a TV production company. There is steady work as there are TV shows and movies being filmed in British Columbia.
Or she can only get the PA jobs depending on the project. One movie is being filmed, so she works for a month. She has to look for another PA job after that project is done.
However, will she achieve the ultimate goal of being an executive producer of her own TV show? Or a writer in the writers room of a scripted drama or comedy or a consulting producer on a TV show?
My opinion: I don't know. She is smart, talented, and really wants it, and works hard.
Too many variables:
Mainly, there are too many variables in the TV and film industry.
There are too many variables in the acting and modeling industry.
In other industries like business, education, law, medicine, etc.: There are variables too, but I can see S being smart and talented and being successful in these industries and careers.
grey issues (Part 1)/ Justin Berry/ intervention/ abortions
New restaurants: I found this article "Restaurant Profitability and Failure Rates: What You Need to Know" by Rory Crawford in FSR magazine (Full Service Restaurant).
"The statistics aren’t pretty. Sixty percent of restaurants don’t make it past their first year and 80 percent go out of business within five years."
I have applied and interviewed at 6 restaurants in 2018-2019, and they have closed down within 2 years. Those years weren't really good for me, and I needed a job and I was willing to work at a place where there was a high chance I didn't see the restaurant lasting.
What if S wanted to be a restaurant manager at a new restaurant?
What if she has worked as a cook for 5 years and has been a restaurant manager for 5 years?
Will she be able to manage a restaurant that will last longer than 2 years?
My opinion: I don't know. There are too many variables. I went to a job interview at a cafe that opened in 2018. The boss said that she and her husband has opened and managed restaurants before. They had experience. 7 months later, the place closed down.
I worked at Treats Cafe in summer 2007. Aziz said he was a manager at a Wendy's. He opened Treats that year. In 2008, when I went there to see if I can get hired again, he wasn't there.
In 2008, I worked at the Soup place, and he passed by. I went and talked to him. I don't remember the reason of why he left.
Nov. 3, 2021 "She wants to be a nurse, but a 94% average wasn't enough to get into program": Today I found this article on Yahoo news. I'm posting this to show that this is not only me struggling to get a career in my field, and that others who are smart and talented, struggle too:
Premier Tim Houston has said it's an option being considered, but the solution is more complicated than it sounds.
That's because the staffing gaps they need to fill are limiting the number of students who can be trained, as the programs contain clinical, on-the-job components. Clinical placements require supervision by working nurses who are already overtaxed. Nurses working double shifts in wards with staffing shortages aren't likely to take on the supervision of a student.
Last week, Houston announced the province was guaranteeing all Nova Scotia nursing graduates a job for the next five years. The province estimates there are 700 nursing graduates a year.
She wants to be a nurse, but a 94% average wasn't enough to get into program (yahoo.com)
Jan. 19, 2022 "Nurse quits Saint John hospital in frustration and takes up long-haul trucking": Today I found this article by Rachel Cave.
Despite everything, (Leah) Gorham said, she wanted to stay in health care and had dreams of becoming a registered nurse. She said she applied multiple times to the bridging programs at the University of New Brunswick.
The programs are highly competitive. Those who are accepted take six online courses that prepare them to enter Year 3 of a four-year bachelor of nursing degree.
"I wanted to be a nurse for the rest of my life," Gorham said. "I applied at least three times and was flat-out rejected and honestly, I had no idea why."
Jan. 9, 2022 Lessons:
What have I learned from my experience?:
1. It's very hard to get my script produced even though I emailed my script pitch to every TV production company in Canada from 2008-2012. I also pitched some more to a lesser extent in 2013-2014. I have a college diploma in Professional Communication so that is relevant education.
2. It's hard to get a job at a TV production company.
3. You can apply and work at TV production companies in Alberta, but there aren't a lot. You will have to go to British Columbia or Ontario.
You have to go where the jobs are and increase your chances of getting hired.
What have I learned from reading the newspaper (education)?:
1. Being a woman (and a woman of color) affects if I get a job as a TV writer and producer.
2. There is a lot of sexism in the TV industry, and not only for actresses, but also behind-the- scenes jobs.
Here are the articles:
"(Shonda) Rhimes has her reasons"/ "Self-study courses aren't suitable for everyone"
"Peak TV means peak stress for writers"/ Writers on the Verge
"Laeta Kalogridis on Altered Carbon"/ "Joking all the way to the top"
"Only girl in the room"/ "Scenes from a Canadian's journey through show business"
What have I learned from my experience and reading the newspaper (education)?:
1. Mainly, there are too many variables to be successful in the TV and film industry.
2. There are too many variables to be successful in the acting and modeling industry.
3. The variables are like education, experience, networking, where you live, what career you want, what industry it is, etc.
4. By imagining my sister (or someone who's not me) and the education, experience, and who is smart and talented, and there isn't a guarantee that she will be successful and be a TV writer and producer or actor or model.
5. In other industries like business, education, law, medicine, etc.: There are variables too, but I can see S (or anyone) being smart and talented and being successful in these industries and careers.
In 2017, I was waiting for the bus and have met a man in his 30s named Johnny and he had variables too:
Mechanic: He worked as one, but he can only get paid when there is a car to fix. If there's no car, he doesn't get paid.
Personal trainer: He went and graduated from the NAIT program in 2005. Back then the minimum wage was like $7/hr and he was getting paid around there at that time. He also had to work at a clothing store to make ends meet.
I remember getting paid like $7.25/hr when I was working as a sales associate at a clothing store.
Fortunately, we as in Alberta and Canada has raised the minimum wage to $15/hr.
This week's theme is about TV, movies, and filmmaking:
"Mixed feelings" (interracial dating in movies)/ "Same-sex kiss made this Hallmark actor a target of hate — but on-screen diversity is important, she says"
"Why Hallmark Christmas movies are big business in B.C."/ "Meet the Vancouver actor who's been in 27 Hallmark movies — usually as Kenny"
My week:
Sun. Jul. 17, 2022 Personality Meetup: I went there and was able to get a ride to and from with 2 different members of the group.
Muttart Conservatory: I was there in gr. 4 and gr. 12 Bio 20 field trips. This time we were outside on the patio. There were like 12 of us. I met some new people. I took some pictures of the flowers.
I met a woman K who is from Ukraine. She doesn't have an accent. She has a law degree and is in the Internationally Trained Lawyer Pathway. This is a 1 yr program.
Internationally Trained Lawyer Pathway | UAlberta Law
Afro - Caribbean Festival: Then we walked by crossing the bridge to go to this festival. It was like a 10 min. walk.
There was music and a fashion show. There are booths that sold African clothes, jewelry, and home decor. There were a few booths that sold food like deep fried balls of dough.
Thurs. Jul. 21, 2022 Haircut: Today I got a haircut at the usual place in Chinatown. I woke up early and took the bus. They opened at 10 am.
E- Mona said she hasn't seen me in 2 yrs. The price went from $20 to $25 for a women's haircut. The last 2 yrs, I had my mom cut my hair. She learned how to from Youtube. She didn't want to cut my hair anymore because she didn't think she cut the hair evenly. My mom's haircutting was fine.
Taste of Edmonton: I went there before it opened. I walked around checking out what's there. I see that my 1st restaurant job was there, and the cook Rodney and I chatted a bit. I told him I work from home.
I bought bus tickets at Tix on Square. I went to the McDonald's at City Centre mall and asked if I can get an ice coffee with my coffee card. This is where you buy 7 cups of coffee, and then you get a free one. The worker said that it's only for hot coffee and not ice coffee.
I went downstairs to Tim Horton's and I still had some money on my gift card. I bought a medium ice coffee. This was average.
