Mar. 30, 2020 Tracy's ideal life: I was watching the This is Us season 4 ep 17 "After the Fire" where Randall imagines if his dad Jack had lived. The first half was all a happy and ideal life. The 2nd half was a totally different life. It wasn't terrible. All the characters had different lives.
Spoiler alert as I describe the episode:
The first happy life: Randall was adopted by the Pearson's and he didn't meet his birth father William until he was 36 yrs old. What if Randall met William at 18 yrs old? William accepts Randall and he is welcomed into the Pearson's family. Randall was able to get William to the doctor and prevent his stomach cancer from growing.
Randall is married and has his 2 kids, and his career in finance like in his real life.
The 2nd half: Randall meets William at 18 yrs old, and he isn't accepted by him. Randall then goes on and doesn't get married or have kids. He is a college professor. Kate marries someone else, and Kevin isn't an actor.
My opinion: When I was watching the show, I thought about the ideal life: How do you know Randall was going to marry the same person and have kids?
The therapist that Randall was talking to did say: Your life could go in a lot of different ways.
However, it was still fun and heart-warming to watch the ideal life that Randall could have had.
Buffy: In the season 3 episode "The Wish" where Cordelia wishes Buffy never came to Sunnydale. The town was over run by vampires.
Frequency: This TV series has 2 storylines going at the same time. The cop Raimy in 2016 has to prevent murders happening with her dad Frank in 1996.
"A police detective in 2016 discovers that she is able to communicate with her father via a ham radio, despite the fact that he died in 1996."
My opinion: I was writing about what would happen if I went to other careers on my blog. If you read my blog in 2014, you can see how I research all these college programs and careers.
Tracy's ideal life: As a TV writer and producer:
Yesterday, I was talking to my friend Sherry on the phone, and she asked if I had gotten straight- As, would I go to university like my siblings? I wouldn't.
If I had things my way:
I would go to Victoria Performing Arts School and be in drama. I would then be encourage to act.
I went to and graduated from high school from 2000-2003.
2003-2005: I would get into NAIT's TV program, and pass and graduate.
I would get an internship at a TV station and get hired.
I would then be a TV writer and producer, and produce my own TV show. I would work in the industry for years.
I would be a successful actor.
I would live in either Vancouver or Toronto. Or film in Edmonton.
Mar. 31, 2020: My parents would never let any of their 3 kids go to Victoria. Maybe if the school I went to burned down or closed down.
How successful of an actor do I want to be? A Canadian actor on Canadian TV shows.
However, I know even when I was a kid, to be an actor, my race, gender, and looks affect if I get roles.
I want to be a TV writer and producer and produce shows like The Listener and Rookie Blue.
Tracy's real life: In College:
2003- 2004: I went to Centre High.
Plan A: I applied into NAIT's TV program. I wrote the Career Investigation report on my own, without help.
The Fall 2004 Intake- reject
Plan B: I got into NAIT's Graphic Communications 2004-2005.
I wrote the Career Investigation report with my sister's help.
I didn't graduate because it was kind of too hard for me. There was no math or science. This was mainly computer programs like Adobe Photoshop and InDesign, etc.
(This is still Plan A): I applied to get into NAIT's TV program again because I wanted to give it another shot. I wrote the Career Investigation report on my own, without help.
Fall 2005 Intake- reject
Winter 2006 Intake- reject. I wrote the Career Investigation report with my sister's help.
Plan C: I applied into NAIT's Radio program.
Fall 2005 Intake- reject. I wrote the Career Investigation report with my sister's help.
Winter 2006 Intake- reject. I wrote the Career Investigation report with my sister's help.
Plan D: I applied late and got into the MacEwan's Arts and Cultural Management program for Fall 2005 Intake .
I got accepted and took 3 classes and passed.
Plan E: I applied and got accepted into MacEwan's Professional Writing for Fall 2006 intake.
2006-2008- I graduated. 2 of the 3 classes from the Arts and Cultural Management were put towards my Professional Writing 2 yr college diploma.
May 16, 2021 Why do you want to be an actor?:
I wanted to entertain people. I wanted admiration, that's kind of shallow. That was for the ego.
May 23, 2021: I wanted to be told I'm good looking. I want attention.
Dancing in the talent show: I was in the talent show in jr. high school. I performed in gr. 7 and 9.
I loved to dance and wanted to perform. I can live my pop star dream by performing in the talent show.
I wanted to entertain people.
I got compliments on my dancing and performance.
There were also people thinking I was brave and confident to perform in front of 700 people by myself.
Apr. 24, 2021 Ask good questions: These are like journal prompts to dig deep. I wrote the 1st question down and slowly answered the question here and there. The 2nd question was after reading all my answers.
1. Why do you want to be a TV writer?
2. If you were to die tomorrow, what would you regret?
From 2008-2012 (22-27 years old): I would be upset if I died and my script The Vertex Fighter didn't get produced. From 2013 on, I don't regret that this didn't get produced. I tried for 5 years of pitching to every TV production company in Canada.
I want to ENTERTAIN people as a TV writer.
Now I want to EDUCATE and INFORM people as a blogger.
A small part of me wants to be a TV writer.
A big part of me wants to stay as a blogger.
TV production and filmmaking will always be an interest.
May 23, 2021: I can ENTERTAIN, EDUCATE, and INFORM people on my blog.
May 26, 2021 Giles Panton's post on Facebook: He is a Canadian actor that I'm friends with on Facebook.
Was just reminiscing a bit about my career. I guess you'd call it a journey at this point. So many ups and downs. So many unexpected surprises. Both good and bad. If there's one thing I've learned, it's nothing is for certain. You can't predict how things will turn out. The jobs you think will change your career...usually don't.
But sometimes they do. No way to guess how things will play out. I'm not talking about anything recent by the way. Just looking back with fresh eyes and nostalgia.
This shot was from was one of those projects that turned out better than you could imagine. It's from The Man in the High Castle. That was an amazing show. I was originally only supposed to be in 2 episodes. And then because they loved the dynamic I had with a co-star, they wrote me into the whole season. And some of the next. That's not something anyone predicted before hand. But it happened.
And I loved every minute of it. I've also had shows go the other way. High on the cast list, lots of compliments about what I was doing, and then it just didn't work. The character didn't fit the way they'd originally thought. And that was it for that.
It's so hard to not take that personal also...but realistically it's usually nothing to do with you. It's about story, or how you fit into the show, or even world events sometimes. There are so many moving parts in my industry that determine how any single job will play out. And it's so difficult to only focus on the pieces that you can actually control.
To not run off into some fantasy world of imagined outcomes anytime something shifts. Trying to guess why x happened, whether it was something you did, or what it means in the long run. You can do it both directions too.
I've definitely gotten starry eyed over some gigs...imagining fame and fortune. But at the end of the day, it just is what it is. So work to focus on the important things. The things within your sphere of control. Focus on your art. Building your skills. Building your humanity (super important for acting).
Make time for your friends and loves ones.
Enjoy the the simple things in life.
And be grateful for what you have and thankful that you're here to experience it
Sept. 17, 2021 Tracy's ideal life: As an actor:
Why do you want to be an actor?: At 11-15 yrs old, I wanted to be an actor. I like to perform and entertain. I wanted admiration.
I guess I wanted to be as successful as a regular on a TV show. A Canadian actor on Canadian TV shows. When American TV shows or movies are filmed in Canada, all the small and supporting roles will be given to the locals.
I know that working on a TV show can be hard.
Cons:
1. You can be on set for 16 hours a day.
2. You have to memorize lines. That can be hard.
3. Flashback: This was back when I was in gr. 9 and 14 yrs old and it was "Take Your Kids to Work Day." I went to my mom's work. My mom, her co-worker/ friend and I went to a Japanese restaurant for lunch. I think the place was called Zen.
Co-worker: Are you going to take off your clothes and do sex scenes? Are you going to kiss someone you don't know?
I was like it really depends on the guy. However, I don't exactly have a choice in that if I'm an actor.
4. There is no job security. I can go on all these auditions, and never get hired.
I can get on a TV show and maybe be a regular. Then my character gets written off.
Or the show gets cancelled after 1 season.
I would probably be going on auditions in the day, and working at a restaurant or bar at night.
5. While I'm at it, I might as well throw in #Metoo where young women get sexually harassed or assaulted working in the entertainment industry.
However, I have been reading the business section of the newspaper, and women can be working in corporate or restaurants, and experience the same thing.
6. There is a lot of rejection in modeling, acting, dancing, and the entertainment industry.
However, I experienced a lot of rejection by not getting into college programs. (You can read the above.)
I applied and attended job interviews as an administrative assistant to all these offices, and medical and dental clinics, and restaurants, and I don't get hired. You can read my blog.
Pros:
1. Admiration.
2. Money. I went on the internet and asked: how much do actors get paid?
There is a huge variety depending on the project like a commercial, one episode, regular role on a TV show, movie, etc.
How much does a regular actor in a television series make per episode, if they are not one of the stars?
The current daily SAG/AFTRA rate is $980 per day plus 10% agent’s fee. That’s 8 hours of work. From 8 hours to 12, time and a half. From 12 to 18 it’s double time. From 18 to 24 is triple time. 24 hours and on is called Golden Time. Each hour past 24 is a day’s pay. BUT. It doesn’t happen often.
How much does a regular actor in a television series make per episode, if they are not one of the stars? - Quora
Sept. 20, 2021 Tracy's real life in dabbling in the performing arts:
In 1997: I was 11 years old and auditioned for the TV show The Orange Seed Myth by the Edmonton writer Marty Chan. There was like 1 part and for a 13 yr old girl. If you click on the show, there are 3 roles and there isn't a 13 yr old girl role.
In 2011, I met Marty Chan when he was the Writer in Residence in EPL and he read and critiqued my The Vertex Fighter script. I told him I auditioned for his show.
Marty Chan - IMDb
The Orange Seed Myth (1997) - IMDb
In 2009: I auditioned for So You Think You Can Dance Canada. I didn't get on the show.
In 2017: I signed up for the Chan's International Model and Talent Agency. I then got a call to meet with the boss. It turns out it was to sign up for a modeling class. It was like a $1200 scholarship off, and I had to pay $800. I wasn't that interested in it and didn't sign up for it.
In 2019: I posted videos of me dancing on my YouTube Channel. No one called me for dancing lessons and I didn't make any money.
I am entertaining and performing at least for myself.
Tracy's blog: Tracy's hip hop dancing videos: Would you like dancing lessons? (badcb.blogspot.com)
Tracy's real life in trying to be a TV writer and producer:
Sept. 1, 2021: This a is June 2016 blog post:
Tracy's writing career/ Getting the right people's attention on the internet
Jul. 5, 2015 Tracy's writing career: I wrote some things down on my notebook and now am typing it up.
I know there are so many avenues for my writing.
1. TV script- This is the main goal I've been aiming for since I was 14 yrs old. At 22, in my last semester of my 2 yr college diploma in Professional Writing, I was actively pitching my script The Vertex Fighter. I pitched in from 2008-2012 to all these TV production companies in Canada. A lot of producers, writers, and script readers read it, but they reject it.
2. TV production companies- I applied to get a job there. I did 1 interview at Dynacor Media in 2008 when I finished Professional Writing. I then did apply to as many Edmonton companies as I can get to in 2012. That lasted about 2 months.
I did try to get an internship in 2003 at CBC. That was when I was 18. CBC HR said they only hire NAIT TV students for internships. There used to be A- Channel, but then they went on strike in 2004. Now I can't apply there.
I did apply at CKUA radio back in 2005. They can't pay you. I did apply to NAIT's radio program but I got rejected in Fall 2004 and Winter 2005 intake. That's alright, the radio program wasn't really for me. I didn't volunteer at CKUA because I got accepted into Professional Writing.
I did apply to be a script reader at some companies in 2012. Only John Kerr sent me some scripts for me to read.
3. Journalism- I passed my resume to the Edmonton Journal a couple of times. I emailed a couple of articles to Metro and 24. That was years ago around 2008-2009. No one ever called me back.
4. Magazines- I pitched to Merge, an Edmonton magazine. It was short-lived. It folded. I may have applied to Avenue magazine. This was in 2009.
5. Short stories and poems- I had 2 short stories "TJ's Story" and "Chase", my poem "Downtown Streets" published in the Canadian Poetry Institute. I wrote that in 2006- 2007 when I was in Professional Writing. I then sent it out and it got published 2010- 2012. (You can read it on my blog.)
6. Websites- The Golden Vanguard published my movie reviews before the website closed down. 2012. (You can read it on my blog.)
7. Publishing companies- I did apply to some or at least look them up. I thought be an editor. They were hiring sales people though. I wrote about this before on my blog.
8. Tracy's blog- this blog has been with me since 2008. It's to showcase my writing and I can be discovered. At the very least, it's an archive of my weekly emails. When I want to bring something up from 3 yrs ago, instead of typing it up again, I can go look for it on my blog.
I know when to narrow and widen my focus. The main focus was getting my script produced. Everything else was on the side.
I guess I'm typing this because today I was talking to my co-worker M who worked as a hostess today. She said about volunteering at places to gain experience. Even if a TV production company isn't hiring, they may still need someone to work for them, but can't pay them. There's also there isn't a lot of work at a company so there isn't a point of a volunteer.
Sept. 23, 2021 Tracy's real life in an Office Career: I was writing for another email/ blog post, but I will post this here:
Apr. 14, 2021 Learning curve:
1. Jobs, careers, and business: In 2010-2012, I read the business section of the newspapers of the Edmonton Journal, the Globe and Mail, and the National Post for 6 days a week.
I felt like I went from a gr. 6 education to a gr. 12 education by how much I learned in 2010-2012.
My family stopped subscribing to the National Post in Apr. 2013.
2010 The Year of Unemployment: I got laid off from the Soup place in Mar. 2010. In Apr.-Sept, I was looking for a job.
The results:
I got hired at Call Centre #4 and worked there for a day. The boss let me go because 9 completed surveys wasn't good enough.
I got hired at Call Centre #5 and worked there for 2 days. The boss let me go because I only raised $75 for charities. This is more like telemarketing. I didn't like working there.
In Oct. I got hired at the Furniture Store and worked there for 2 weeks.
I was let go. I then got hired at my 1st Restaurant job and stopped looking for a job.
In my best estimate, I probably went to 5 job interviews a month, so 30 job interviews that year.
2011 The Year of the Office Job Search: 60 job interviews
The results: I attended mostly administrative assistant/ receptionists job interviews. I got hired at a 2 week temp holiday job at the Fruit Place.
2012 The Year of New Directions: 58 job interviews
The results: I attended mostly administrative assistant/ receptionists job interviews. I got hired at 2 telemarketer jobs where I call people to sell tickets to theatre plays and concerts. I was let go at each place because I didn't sell any tickets.
I worked at a door-to-door sales job where I sold the Edmonton Sun newspaper subscriptions. I sold 5 on the first day. The way they paid you was that you had to work all 4 days and then you can get paid for the all the subscriptions you sold.
I went there for a day and I didn't like it. I quit, and I didn't get paid. That's okay that I didn't get paid.
In 2013 The Year of the Office Job: I got the Office Job and worked there for 5 months. The Year of the Office Job. All the work I did from reading the business section of the newspapers and attending job interviews prepared me for this.
In 2014 The Year of Education and Research: I attended a semester at MacEwan Office Assistant program with a Business Communication class and a Computer class.
In 2015 The Year of the Office Job and Dating (and Decluttering): I worked at the home installation place for 3 months.
In 2015-2019: I was reading the business section of the newspapers and attending job interviews.
In 2020: I was mainly looking for a work from home job on the internet. There were a few interviews. I read the business section on the internet.
I read the business section of the Edmonton Journal and the Globe and Mail until Sept. 2018.
My family stopped subscribing to the Globe and Mail until Sept. 2018.
My family stopped subscribing to the Edmonton Journal in Feb. 2019.
I still read the business section on the internet.
Now I feel like I'm in post secondary education with job education.
Education: Reading the business section of the newspapers.
Experience: Attending job interviews all around town.
I'm angry because I put 100% of my time, effort, money and resources to follow my 2 goals simultaneously, and there is only mild success:
TV writer and producer: I followed my passion by attending Professional Communication for 2 years at MacEwan. I pitched (and did rewrites) my script intensely for 5 yrs.
There is mild success with this path like getting TV production companies and producers to read my script, and EPL Writer in Residences like Marty Chan who gave me good feedback that some parts of the script was good.
I got a few job interviews at TV production companies.
My office career: I was trying to get my TV script produced, and I was looking for an office career. I read and learned so much about jobs, careers, and business from reading the business section of the newspaper. I attended so many job interviews. Look at how many interviews I attended from 2010-2012.
There is mild success like the Office Job in 2013 and 2015. The Furniture Store in 2010 was an office job.
Tracy's hypothetical career in acting, modeling, and performing arts: I put time, effort, money and resources into this and I will have mild success. I will attend 60 casting calls and auditions, and I will get one commercial and one ad.
I am mainly angry that I don't have wild success.
Lessons:
1. In life, there is only so much time, effort, and money to go into a path.
2. You can do and be lots of things in life at the same time like in an industry of writer, producer, actor.
Or an entrepreneur, author, speaker.
3. You can go into one career or industry for a long time, and then change careers.
This week doesn't have a theme. Here are the two blog posts:
Executive Spa Group (ESG)
edX.org/ Reinvent yourself: Unleash your creativity/ We Know Training
I didn't write a "my week" part because the blog post is really long and this is mostly my writing.
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